Personal growth happens when we see where we’re not meeting our own expectations and make the changes necessary to meet our own expectations. Changing ourselves only happens when we acknowledge that what we’re doing isn’t working or when we admit we’re wrong about something.
Everyone changes as they grow. At least we hope they do. It’d be a shame to be the same person you were in high school, to believe the same things and to only know the same amount. As a mother, it’d be a shame to be the same person you were as a new mama when you have a ten year old. Being the same wouldn’t serve you or your children very well at all.
Some people resist change. These people typically believe they are right, that they can’t control where their life leads, or are frozen in place because taking any action is harder than continuing as you are when you’re over tired and haven’t been caring for yourself effectively. Those ideas are related, but manifest differently even thought the result may look the same to outsiders.
When Being Right is Wrong
A person that believes they are right, who will not try to prove themselves wrong, is less likely to see another person’s point of view. They are more likely to shut down open dialogue. They often seem aggressive and angry.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been that person. You need to question yourself, what hill am I willing to die on? What is so important that you won’t listen to someone else’s point of view with a willingness to be wrong? What is so important that you’re willing to twist the meaning of a person’s words to make sure you’re right? What is so important that you’re willing to insult a person over an idea?
Once you know what battles are important to you, then you can open yourself to shifting in other areas. This doesn’t mean you’ll always be wrong, what it means is you will be open to hearing someone else’s view without the intent of talking over them or convincing them of anything.
When you’re able to approach conversations in this way, you’ll find other people are more likely to also listen to you in return. Though if you listen, you may discover you don’t really have anything to say after all.
Inertia Holds Us Back
It’s easy to continue doing the same thing we’ve always done. This is especially true when we’re tired, aren’t eating well, are overwhelmed by parenting or work or anything else for that matter. Doing the same thing feels comfortable, safe, secure. When the rest of life flips topsy turvy, it’s easiest to go through life on auto pilot following the same routines each day.
If you want to make changes, especially in the way you react to certain situations, you need to change your auto pilot co-ordinates first. How to do this depends on the specific areas you want to change. Let’s say you wanted to stop fighting about bedtime with your child, then it’s important to first change the way you interact with your child at other times of day. Re-frame how you see the fight. Instead fo seeing the fight as a battle between parent and child, see the fight as a child’s means of communicating. When you can shift your view when you’re not fighting, it’s easier to change the course of the evening and how you react to it.
If You Believe It, You Can Do It
Wow, let’s talk about the law of attraction for a moment. Here’s a moment when it really does work. If you believe you have no control over your life, if you believe it was luck that got others to where they are and bad luck that got you to where you are, then things will continue as they are.
Don’t get me wrong, luck may certainly play a part in life, but it is not the most important part of the equation. You are.
Yep. That’s right. You are here most important part of your life. You can control almost every aspect of your life. Sometimes it requires work – I have a friend that sews, teaches dance, works in a shop, has been going to school and practices Reiki on the side – how much work you put in will influence what you get out of it.
Of course, not all work is created equal. It’s possible to be super busy and have nothing to show for it. If you believe you can accomplish something, and put steady effort toward your goals, you’ll be able to see results.
What Are You Afraid Of?
The life you live is up to you. You can live in a small house, but live an amazing life of abundance, or you can live in a large house and feel like there’s never enough. There are so many ways to live – are you living the life you want? Are you being the person you want to be? If not, then what are the first steps you need to take to become who you want to be?
Are you willing to take the risk on yourself, for yourself?
Change is possible, but you need to be willing to change, you need to be open to being wrong. You need to be willing to step out of your comfort zone, and you need to be willing to put the work in. It isn’t easy, but the rewards are worth every step you take!