We previously talked about how the ordinary days in our life don’t hold the same value as the days filled with out of the ordinary situations. That will always be true. The day you have a baby holds more weight that the 127th day of changing diapers. The day you get into a huge fight weighs on you more than the 29 days you communicated effectively. Even though ordinary days will always remain, well, ordinary, it is possible to add more weight to them.
Below are the top ways to increase the level of connection in your relationships.
Step One: Gratitude
Gratitude is always step one. If things ever start to slide, make a moment for gratitude. Gratitude about every aspect of life is valuable, but after giving yourself compassion, the second most important person to be thankful for is your partner.
Step Two: Grace
Giving grace is not the same as making excuses and allowing another person to treat you poorly. Giving grace is the act of recognizing we could make the same mistake someone else made, and so we forgive them. Completely.
Step Three: Dialogue
Dialogue is not about speaking. It’s about communicating. Effective communication means we actively listen to the other person. Using effective communication on the ordinary days helps you learn how to use it when stress levels rise.
Step Four: Touch
It doesn’t matter whether the relationship you’re working on is with your mother, friend, or partner. Every relationship needs a little touch. This might be a simple hand on the arm, a hug, or something deeper. To build meaning on the ordinary days, it’s important to use touch. Gentle touches, calm touches, short touches. These are the little gestures that let another person know you care about them, but are not asking for anything from them.
Focusing on these four points will build your level of connection, they’ll provide extra strength to your relationship so you’ll be able to weather the stormy days easier. By making time for these tools in your relationship, you’re building resiliency that’ll help you through the more difficult times.