What’s your favourite part of summer?
I love, absolutely love, having people over for BBQs. I also enjoy going to the playground with the kiddos or going camping as a family. And of course summer just wouldn’t be the same without lovely days in the garden or relaxing days laying in the hammock watching the clouds float along. All of these things have something in common. Something more important than nice weather. They’re all about relationships.
We can’t have people over if we don’t have friends. Going to the playground wouldn’t be as much fun if I didn’t enjoy playing with my children, and laying in the hammock would have a completely different feel if I was uncomfortable with my own company.
The Most Important Relationship in Your Life
When’s the last time you took a good hard look at the relationship you have with yourself?
I think we all know we need to show ourselves compassion and acceptance. I think we’ve all heard we need to take care of ourselves if we’re going to care for others. But what does it mean? How does it look?
If you generally feel overwhelmed and stressed, you’re definitely not taking enough care of yourself! But it’s also smaller things like feeling guilty if you’re not always working or doing chores, putting yourself down or making depreciating self comments. Sometimes it’s something like not even knowing who you are. Other signs can show you need to work on your relationship with yourself, but I think if you take a good hard look at, you already know if you need to show yourself more compassion and love.
I know I do.
I find myself putting all my energy and time into other people. Into my various projects. Into ideas. Today while the family played D&D together, I felt increasingly agitated until I had to stop. I needed to get work done. The thought of taking time out of my day to do something fun leaves me feeling agitated, like I’m wasting time. As far as personal sins go, this is second only to wasting money. (hint: sometimes wasted time or money is less about waste and more about investment.)
If I’m doing something I enjoy, I usually find a way to put a stop to it. Sometimes, even at the expense of my family. And most of the time I don’t have a good reason why. I’d feel guilty for weeks if I treated a friend like this, so why do I do it to myself? Why do you?
How To Love Yourself More
I’d need more than an 8 page AP paper to really delve into the reasons why people do this. As fascinating as I’d find it, I don’t really need to know why in order to know it needs to change. The great thing is: I’m pretty confident it’s possible to improve your relationship with yourself with only a little time and effort.
In the past, I’ve used a gratitude journal to help my children see how fortunate they are. I’ve used it to help me see a more accurate picture of my over all life. This week I’ll use it to show myself how fortunate I am that I’m me. I will write 3 things I am grateful about myself every day.
That’s it. That’s all you need to do (to start). Take a good look at yourself and find the good parts. The things you like about yourself. Let go of the words others have given to you about you. Find your own words. Discover what you love about yourself.
Join me. Especially if this is difficult for you, please, join me. Let me know how it goes, and I’d really love to hear what you like about yourself.