There are three reasons why someone doesn’t hire a coach. One is because they don’t have the time. Another reason is because they don’t have the money. The third reasons someone doesn’t hire a coach is because they can’t see how a coach will help them with the problems they have.
A typical coaching session ranges from 20 to 30 minutes, and can be done anywhere you have an internet or phone connection. It takes more time to convince your toddler to use the blue cup than it does to have a coaching session. Certain problems you’re working to solve may require more than one session, but the sessions are short and you leave with plans you can use to solve your problems. Having a plan you’re committed to following will save you so much time – and we all know how precious time is, don’t we?
Coaching sessions do cost money. Depending on how many sessions you need, it can add up. However if coaching were to help you save time and money in other ways, would it be worth it? How about if coaching were to save your sanity when you’re faced with one more night of your 5th grader telling you her project is due the next day? Is your sanity worth it?
Personally, I used a coaching session to help me create a plan for Christmas. I wanted to create magical memories for our children so they’d feel excited about Christmas and feel loved. I wanted this magical Christmas to be one of togetherness and love, and I did not want fighting. Through my single coaching session I was able to create a plan that is working beautifully.
In a previous group coaching session, I explored ideas that allowed me to discover a love of wire working. Since then I’ve used that to help earn some extra spending money and have had a few of my sculptures displayed in galleries. Even though that group coaching series cost me $500, I more than made that money back through what I gained.
You see, a coach helps you reach your goals. A coach doesn’t need to know how to do what you want to do, a coach doesn’t need to know your past (a good coach won’t even ask about your past other than to find out what you’ve already tried in regards to the specific solution you’re trying to find).
Coaches use powerful questioning to help you explore your situation and brainstorm solutions. These powerful questions help create possibilities, clarity, and focus. Once you’ve opened yourself to possibilities and you’ve created clarity and focus, then you’re able to decide on a plan and commit to it. Wouldn’t that be great? To create a plan you’re committed to, and have someone else helping you stay motivated and accountable in a non-judgemental way, feels really amazing!
The questions I’m about to share with you form the basis of the majority of my coaching sessions. You can use these questions over and over again to help you find solutions to most situations.
1. What do you want?
Sounds easy enough. But often we don’t really know what we want – oftentimes we find ourselves asking for more money or a bigger house, but really what we want is something different. As you work through the rest of the questions, you may find yourself changing or refining what you want. That’s okay. It’s also okay if you don’t. Whether you’re coaching yourself or being coached, the answers to the questions are about you and what you want.
2. Why is this important?
This is such a valuable question. When you ask yourself why you want more money, you may discover you don’t really want more money, but what money will bring you. It’s not the same thing. One reason this distinction is important is because it’s very possible to find more than one way to get what you really want. But if you’re focused on money being the only way to get it, then you may miss out on possibilities.
3. How would you know you’ve got it?
I LOVE this question! Often times what we want is very abstract or worse, vague, which means our brains have no tangible way to define whether we’re succeeding or not. Guess what! If your Brian can’t see progress, it just tells you to stop. So you NEED to know what success looks like. This is why saying, I want more money doesn’t work. What is more money? $1? Is that more? More can mean so many different things. Be clear.
If what you’re looking for is more happiness, that’s abstract. What does happiness look like to you? Define your happiness so you can see whether you’re getting what you want.
How would you know you’ve got it? Whatever it is, you need to define it.
4. How might you get it?
This is where you reflect on what you may need to learn or change to reach your goals. This is also where you need to be truthful with yourself and see what resources you’re already bringing to this issue. So often you tell yourself you don’t have what it takes. But you do. Yes, sometimes there’s a lot of steps between here and there, but as Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”
The answers to this question are about possibilities. They’re not set in stone. They are options. You don’t have to do any of them. Once you’ve come up with a few ideas, you can look at your brainstorming and decide which idea you might like to try first.
5. How might you commit to it?
Now that you have an idea and a place to start, how might you commit to it? Committing to your plan is so important. Often times someone will say they want to lose weight, but they can only follow through with their plan for a few months, then the weight comes back.
Often this is because the answers to the above questions weren’t clarified and the person is trying to ‘lose weight’ (too vague) without being clear about why it’s important to them or how they’re going to do it. Or the method the person chooses to use to lose weight isn’t compatible with the goal in the first place. For instance if a person wants to lose weight so she can have more fun with her children, then finding a way to achieve her goal that is inline with what she wants would be easier to commit to.
Thank you so much for reading! Please comment below and let me know what value you’re taking away from this post. I’d like to acknowledge you and the effort you’re putting into yourself.
Have a great day!